FIRST LOVE

love..

Arrogant, smart, intelligent, lean, and a topper. Always held a medal in whatever programs he gave his name in. An extrovert, sensitive, emotional, caring with only an age of 14.

Elegant, attractive, intelligent, anxious, slim, stunningly beautiful, shy and soft spoken. An introvert, charming, adorable, kind, sympathetic, aged 13, with the divine eyes, long hairs and pure soul.

Commanding the crowd before him during the school prayers, the girl in front of him casted a magic spell on him. Spellbound, he let the crowds to raise their hands until the teacher next to him brought him back to his senses. His voice trembled then, never had it happened earlier. Hurriedly, he completed the morning prayers, national anthems and asked the class leaders to lead their classmates to their respective classes.

That feeling……the restlessness…unfocused…He missed his roll call which was the very first number to be called. A pinch from his best friend made him utter the word “Present Sir”. Tic…Tic..Tic... Time moved very slowly.
A recess break.. He jumped out of the class to get the glimpse of his girl…his girl..deep to himself, he had already thought her of his own. Elated, he hid himself in a corner and stole a look on her. Her eyes, not so big, were perfect, her cheeks..were red enough to label her as nervous, as it was her first day on Grade VII, and those well ironed dress could tell him about her preparations for her changed and a new school. The bells for classes rang and he cursed the bell boy for ringing the bell a-minute earlier.
Two more classes and a lunch break.

Lunch break… He finished his ‘WAIWAI’ in few minutes and leaned against the wall opposite to the school tap. He waited for her to come to fetch water in her water bottle. Classic bollyhood movie scene…. A leg up against the wall.. Tie lowered below with the upper button open..shoes scrubbed against back of the pants… and the dust of pants shaken by palms.. She did come five minutes prior to the bell. There had been a queue to fetch up water. Thanked god for this as he would see her longer. She barely spoke. Her friends spoke to her almost all the time. In return, she used to smile. That perfect curve on her lips made him fall for her second time the same day. And yes, he was nervous himself, couldn’t dare to look at her directly. He acted as if he hadn’t come for her, but he craved for her more than anything else in the world.

The first day at 4:00 pm. He had the benefit of arranging the queues to get the roads crossed. Another glimpse before 18 hours to see her the next day. He managed to seize a look towards her. And a small ,faint mole on her face made her more adorable than he had seen her earlier. He looked at her until he captured her completely within him. He made every students cross the roads, with the help of teachers.

Little boy…with so much love…..Is she his soul mate? What made him fall for her multiple times that day? Why did those innocent feelings develop over to that small heart??? Will destiny play a trick to get them together? Will they be together in the near future?

LOVEa question ahead!!!!

 

एउटा सोच: कहाँ थियो त HIV ??

STOP HIV

अ.. हो!!! त्यहि एक सर्को ….. सायद एक वर्ष अघि बाबाले झापड हान्दा तानेको थियो….त्यो एक सर्को ! त्यो पनि तल्लो घरको SLC फेल हर्केसङ्ग ! आज हर्के र उ संगै छन् … संगै… मृत्युसैयामा!!! डाक्टर साबहरु उसलाई एड्स लग्यो भन्दै थिए!

एक वर्ष अघिको त्यो चुरोट…..मात्र एक सर्को काफी भयो उसलाई! आनन्द आको थ्यो रे उसलाई तेतिबेला!! त्यसपछि उसले गाजा, चरेस, ब्राउन सुगर, अनि के के अरु पनि तान्यो रे! ३ महिनाअघि असनको गल्लिमा देख्या थिए उनीहरुलाई! वरिपरि सुइका ठुटा थिए! एक हातबाट रगत बग्दै थियो भने अर्को हात सुन्निएको थियो उसको! बिहोस थिए दुवै जना …. त्यो पनि जवानीको २२औ वर्ष मा!!

सायद त्यो सुइमा HIV थियो होला….
कि बाबाको त्यो झापडमा HIV थियो कतै??
कतै उसको मानसिकता र अज्ञानतामा त HIV थिएन???? कतै हर्केले दिएको पहिलो सर्को चुरोट मा त HIV थिएन?? असन को गल्लीमा लाचार छोडेर हिडेको मैले, कि मेरो ब्यबहारमा HIV थियो?? एक्लै हिडेकी नानीलाई समेत जिस्काउन नछोड्ने पोसाकमै भाएको प्रहरीको लापरबाहीमा त HIV थिएन नि है? कि हाम्रो लाचार एवम निस्फिक्री समाजमा HIV थियो?
खोइ, कहाँ थियो त HIV ???

नमार मलाई घरि घरि

Nepal-Map-Tenzin-Norbu-small

हिजो  तिमीले हात काट्यौ सुघौली सन्धि भन्दै
आज फेरी बलात्कृत गर्यौ बिदेशी नोट गन्दै
अस्तिदेखि छोरि-चेली भारत बम्बई लागि बेच्यौ
अहिले त म आमालाई अन्तरास्ट्रिय समाजमा कुल्च्य़ौ

घरिघरि छिमेकीले मेरो बष्यस्थल समात्दा  नि
तिम्रो मुटु, अंग , शरीर ; किन सिरिङ्ग नभएको कुन्नि ?
हिजो बिजुलीको बहाना गरि अश्रुधारा पनि बेच्यौ
त्यो आशुलाई रोक लगाउने मेरो बाध पनि बेच्यौ

सुन्दै छु कि छोरा बुद्दलाई पनि बेच्दै छौ रे !
मेरो मुटु सगरमाथालाइ अर्कैतिर धड्काउने प्रयाश गर्दै छौ रे !
सार्भोभौमिकता र स्वाधिनता दमन भयो भन्दै छन् मेरा छिमेकि
अभा  तिमि मेरो दासी बन भन्दै छन् है मेरा छिमेकि !

इतिहास त कहिल्यै पल्टाउने चेष्टा भयन तिमीमा
म लुटिदै गय रोक्ने सामर्थ्य भयन तिमीमा
उल्टै आजकल त तिमि उतैतिर ढल्किदै पो छौ रे!
मलाई बेच्न अझै तिमि कसिदै पो छौ अरे!

छोरा पृथ्वीनारायण  रुदै छ आज मेरो काखमा
फेरी जन्माउ आमा म बचाउचू तिम्रो महिमा
काट्छु सबै दरिद्रकताका ति भोकाप्यासीलाइ
भन्छ, आच पनि आउन दिन्न त्म्रो गरिमालाई

अमरसिंह पनि जन्म देउ आमा भन्दै छ आज फेरी
खुड़ाको धार मेटाउनेछु तिम्रो अस्मिताको लागि
अतिक्रमण र हस्तछेपलाइ निस्क्रिय पार्छु आमा
लालची ति दाजुभाई, काकालाइ नि काट्छु आमा

नामर्दहरु धेरै नजन्माउ आमा म आउछु भन्छ भक्ति
दरिद्रहरु पो जन्मिन थाले अभा म आउछु भन्छ बलभद्र
चिर्छु आमा, मार्छु आमा, मलाई जन्म देउ भन्छन
देशकै लागि मर्नै परे त्यॊ काखमा फेरी आउछु भन्छन

अब त उठ! मेरा छोराछोरी हो, मेरा सन्तति!
फेरी पनि नबेच मलाई भुलिदेउ बिदेशी गन्ति
म छु र पो तिमि छौ, किन बुज्दैनौ यो कुरा?
म टूक्रिदै छु, तडःपिदै छु, किन रोक्दैनौ यो व्यथा?

लड अब आफ्नै लागि; मेरो अस्तित्वको लागि
मार्नु परे मेरा छोरा मारी हाल आजै देखि
बिदेशीको रख्य़ल मलाई बन्न नदेउ तिमि
मर्छु बरु बिष खाई नमार मलाई घरि घरि!!

REST IN PEACE SUYOG

               That phone call shocked me. I was turned speechless and numb. Someone over the phone was telling “Your friend Suyog is no more”. I couldn’t recollect back my senses and the words didn’t flow out of my mouth. For a minute, I felt like the world had gone darker, the sun had stopped shining and I was like in between the dense forest with no light, sound and people.  When the neurons sent the signals to my brain, I uttered a phrase to myself “R.I.P Suyog”. I didn’t even bother myself to ask the cause of death at that agonizing moment.
As soon as I ended up with that phone conversation, I got another call from my friend stating that he poisoned himself to die. I was asked by some of my friends whether I am joining them to his home and it was like how could I deny!! I immediately joined my friends and we reached to his home at once. My emotions knew know boundary. My eyes were full of tears and my heart was heavy as if I was carrying thousands of elephants in me. I couldn’t overflow my emotions there, as I was there to provide them with the sympathy and I had to restrict my feelings there.
His mother’s face, it was worn out with the tears and when I looked at her, my eyes went wet. Perhaps God only knows to what extent she is suffering at this moment. His mother couldn’t even utter a word to us. But his father shared us that he committed suicide the previous night. He shared us the dreams he had for his lovely son Suyog and those words were flowing within us as summer wind. He suggested us not to repeat the same mistake as Suyog did because no parents can tolerate their children’s death. He assured us saying that we were suyog for him but the irony was we couldn’t turn ourselves into Suyog. Suyog was the only Suyog for them.
SUICIDE is a crime for humanity. All those who provoke suicide are criminals. But we can’t be apart from the fact that our nature i.e. human emotions are mainly responsible to provoke those feelings among ourselves. When it comes so strong to us, there appears a mirage that only suicide is the ultimate solution. Why did Suyog not think of his parents? How could he be so rude not even thinking about the tears and those thunderstorms of agony would encircle his family, friends and relatives? Suicide has been reported to be common among us, the teenagers. The most common concept for suicide as reported is itteracy,poverty,failure in life, love and pressure from family,society,college and so on.
Dear everyone let us not trouble ourselves by thinking about the suicidal feelings. Being in this age of thunder and storm, we are to share our problems or give a platform to our problems among our family, friends or near ones, as there is always a solution to every problem.
Today Suyog is no more among us. We can’t bring him back. But let us realize about the loss his mother has to undergo who always kept him near her heart and nurtured him till this age (approx. 17), his dad has to suffer who had shared his dreams for Suyog, His friends has to bear the unbearable loss as his company was dear to everyone and to the nation which has lost a great talent. Let everyone be sensitive to this word suicide and act according to the psychology of teenagers so that these sorts of accidents can halt over.
We, the Suyog for Our parents must realize the pains that our parents would undergo…..besides, we are to give platforms to our problems rather that to be away from life. Let us be strong.
FINALLY, I PRAY TO GOD HIS SOUL FIND A PLACE IN HEAVEN AND MY CONDOLENCES AND SUPPORT ARE WITH ALL OF US WHO ARE ENGRAVED BY THE LOSS WE HAD TO SUFFER. R.I.P SUYOG.
P.S. This is a blog that i wanted to share and  was written three years back during my high school.