What is a vaccine?

A vaccine is a biological substance that is administered to protect against specific diseases by inducing immunity against those diseases. 

How does a vaccine protect us from getting the disease?

Once the component of the vaccine enters our body, it trains and prepares our immune system to recognize and fight against viruses and bacteria. If our body comes across those disease causing agents later in our life, the immune system will recognize them and destroy them quickly to prevent the disease.

What are the current vaccines approved by FDA for Emergency Use Authorization(EUA) for COVID-19 ?

  1. Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine (Also approved by WHO as Emergency Use Listing)
  2. Moderna COVID-19 vaccine

What are other vaccines for COVID-19 in our way?

Some of the vaccines in Phase 3 clinical trials are:

1.AstraZeneca’s COVID-19 vaccine

2.Janssen’s COVID-19 vaccine

3.Novavax’s COVID-19 vaccine​

Will I get the COVID-19 from the vaccine itself?

No. Vaccines use inactivated or weakened viruses or viral products(RNA/DNA/Protein/Vector based) which can not cause COVID-19 itself.

Will I have side effects following vaccination?

Yes. Pain and swelling at the site of injection, fever,chills, tiredness and headaches are  common side effects. 

Very rare but life threatening severe allergic reactions may occur in some, which must be managed immediately. 

Will  current vaccines also work for the new and changing strains of SARS-CoV-2?

This is very early to answer this question. It may work, it may not. More research is needed to confirm it. However, vaccines generally provide a broader range of protection against the illness which it is prepared for.

I have been infected with COVID-19. Should I get vaccinated?

Yes. The reinfection can happen and the number of days of protection from the immunity after first infection is still unknown.

A handwritten note during the initial days of COVID-19 pandemics.

Should I continue the safety measures of using masks, hand hygiene and physical distancing after vaccinations too?

Yes. It takes some days to weeks for the vaccines to train the immune system and the question for long term protection with the help of vaccines is yet to be answered. 

 Tell us a few lines about India’s vaccine COVISHIELD which was recently donated to Nepal.

COVISHIELD Co-developed by the University of Oxford and British-Swedish company AstraZeneca and known as Covishield in India. 2 does between 4 to 12 weeks and stored at 2 to 8 C, prepared from a weakened version of a common cold virus (known as an adenovirus) from chimpanzees. It has been modified to look more like coronavirus – although it can’t cause illness. Several questions are yet to be answered because the manufacturer has not completed a “bridging study” of the vaccine on Indians.

This is simply a very concise list of FAQs.For more queries, you can simply comment below.

Regards 🙂 

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Dear friend, expectation might hurt as well ,for it is all dependent on someone else.

In the world,  where our minds are hijacked by unrealistic ideas depicted in movies or series, it is not unusual for us to expect immensely-on everything, every time. For instance, let me tell you something about the recent past. ‘Contagion’, the movie which showed a real positive hope of treating the viral illness which began in a flight that affected so many Americans despite strict Quarantine and isolation, made me so much hopeful about the immediate remedy for this pandemic i.e COVID-19. Somewhere, deep inside me, I crave for Dr. House or Dr.Murphy-the good doctor, to be in the real scenario and figure it out overnight. I go to bed everyday, with the expectation to wake up with a Miracle that COVID-19 is no longer lingering around. Well,a part of my expectation has already been served with  the development of vaccines, though the equitable distribution is of serious concern, more so for developing nations like Nepal. 

So, Expectations!!

Let’s dive into everyday scenarios. You expect a warm hug as soon as you reach home from your love, even if you have had a harsh argument before you left home in the morning. You expect your friend to text you and catch up for some coffee, even if he or she has not texted you for months. You wish your family understands all what you are going through, even if you have always faked a smile in front of them, with all the pain within. You expect your relatives not to bother you for the lack of financial security or a stagnant career. You expect your favorite team to win every game and your favorite player to score all the points despite knowing that it won’t always happen.  

You have a lot of expectations from life, love, family, relatives, society,nation, world and so on.  Trust me, the inner part of you, has an expectation for you to stop expecting; for you have seen all the sufferings those expectations bring.  Gautam Buddha claimed expectations as the root of all the sufferings, so why don’t you embrace this truth from ‘The Light of Asia’

Irony, I am expecting you to eliminate the root of suffering- Expectations!  

There is a lot to expect , way more beyond than what can be achieved. Somewhere,I still have contradictory thoughts against the sufferings expectations bring. In my solitude, it rings to me that expectations also give us a hope and hope is what keeps us alive. Tonight, I wish you get that warm hug, the lovely text, the support you always craved, the financial stability flooding away your past drought, the progressive career, the win of your team, the end of COVID-19,  a better  2021  and the list of hope goes on.


How often have we thought of the reason for our love?

Dear friend,

I love you.”

“Why? Why do you love me?”

The complexity of answering this question increases as one matures. You are handsome, beautiful, intelligent, open minded,caring, special etc. will scale up to you are responsible, focussed, dedicated and honest with your work, friends and life. Some will still love your smile or the way you talk. A subset would be unable to express their love with a plausible reason. So, why do you love someone?

 Apart from the love among the opposite gender ,same gender  or transgender, let us shift our focus on the love within families, relatives, friends or colleagues. Why do you love them? I appreciate all the love you have always shown for your loved ones but the real question is why do you love someone so much and someone very less or not at all?

A child knocking on your car’s window begging money for food would make you swear at them even without donating a penny, whereas  you can’t bear your child escaping the fourth meal for the day. Your love  flourishes if someone is of your race, color or nationality  whereas you have an aversion for love if they are not your kind. Your dog needs a goggle yet, you throw a stone at the street dog for no reason. And the biggest tragedy  for this religious world is- you love the God you follow but loathe the  God someone else follows.

 It is ok for you to love less but it is not ok to hate  someone for the differences they have. They did not choose to be poor, white,black, males,  females, transgender, refugees, differently abled, diseased  and many more. Love them if possible. else, give me a reason for you to curse a hungry child begging for food.

Love is the normal response of the neurotransmitters in a healthy brain. This is a common planet and it is  beautiful for all the differences it has. Let us think for the “WHY” before loving or hating someone or something. Will you find an answer to  “WHY” for a healthy brain to hate someone? 

Spread love and Peace in the World.I love you all. 

—– SomeStories


Acrostic for “FAMILIES”

“And if they cross your minds in every of your joys and sorrows, trust me; they are your families.

And if you talk to them in every of your failures and achievements, trust me; they are your families.

And if your eyes well up with tiny, gracious drops with their thoughts, trust me; they are your families.”

In this generation of relentless competition and the never-ending race for new and glorious achievements, people seemingly have forgotten to take care of themselves. But, with a little taste of unwanted, so called- failure; they will be back seeking for the care of their loved ones and no matter what, they will find a shoulder to lean on-in the form of FAMILY I have always wanted to expand the book definition of family beyond –  sharing the same roof and related to Bloodlines.

Family is someone you can always trust with your tears, fears and smiles.  Grandparents, father, mother, sisters, brothers, cousins- in your bloodlines or  your childhood friend, your best buddies of school or colleges, your seniors in your medical school or a friend that you met on social work. They can be all be your soul-connections. 

Sometimes, an unknown person met on the virtual world match your frequencies of feelings and be an eminent part of your life. And, for us, doctors, sometimes, an  unknown patient  can later appear to be the most caring member of family.

Everything in this world changes with time. Those in the list of families increase but, the vibrations can sometimes- be in the crest and sometimes – in the trough. We must respect this process of fluctuations too, for the energy always remains constant. We all have some friends in the form of a family, whom we have not talked for months. But, the moment we come across each other through phone calls or in a cafe, all those energies and vibes instantly recharge to the peak. Such is our limbic system –  the master of emotions ! 

Family offers you with all the love and care. They know what makes you happy and healthy. And if you ever fall sick, they will seek for the best hospital for you and arrange for your visit. They will surprise you with the birthday cake, gifts and many lifetimes’ experiences. They will never fail to congratulate you on your success and they will never turn their backs in your needs. And when something good happens in their part of world, they will quickly think of you and  wish that you were with them .

Families can be selfish too.  They would go through every pain, yet they would not share it with you, for you might start to  worry a lot.  They would be very selective with words so that words don’t hurt your already wounded soul.  Sometimes, they would regret that it they could not  uplift your mood despite the clear depict of sadness in your eyes. They would not tell you many of those things that might hurt you and they keep these within themselves. Yes, families are selfish.

There is no maths for all what I have got and what I have given to my families. But, I promise that I have got many folds  than what I have given. I might have failed to show my gratitude in many occasions but I am really grateful to all my families out there. Thank you for everything and I am sorry if I wasn’t there when you needed me. I really appreciate you all. I love you all.

#DearFriend_ SomeStories

Kidney Failure !!!


Dear Friend,

Shyam is118350790_794310408064077_520229528945646977_n a middle aged male from remote Nepal with Chronic Kidney Disease (ESRD) who is on a regular dialysis three times a week. Few years back, government had announced for free dialysis services in Nepal. Some government centers don’t charge for dialysis, yet Shyam is asked to buy some medicines (to manage complications in case he has one). Private hospitals charge a fair amount of money for dialysis. Shyam lives in a rented room, but his place is far away from the hospital which doesn’t charge for dialysis(excluding medicines). It takes around an hour to an hour and half on bus depending on the level of traffic. But, with the lockdown, he now walks for almost 2-3 hours to reach the hospital. He is not rich enough to afford to pay for a private taxi or ambulance. So, he stays in a corner of hospital since the lockdown as walking really exhausts him. 

He hasn’t seen his family for days. His wife takes care of the children back at home. The hospital where he sleeps at night, has a lot of COVID-19 cases, and many staffs are tested positive too. The religious centre which provides shelter for the poor didn’t allow him to sleep in the centre as they worry that he could transmit COVID-19 to others. 

Before lockdown, he and his wife used to work (whatever available and feasible for him) around the community to feed children. Today, he survives in bare minimal with some nights on only with water, but he wishes that his family have something to eat. Excessive intake of water has created problems to him as his kidneys’ aren’t healthy to remove excess water from his body.  It makes him difficult to breath. 

Like everyone else, he also wishes that there are some quick and effective medications or vaccines for COVID-19. Beyond this wish, he has many other wishes too, yet those wishes are very uncertain to be fulfilled.

Some Stories…



मात्र तिमी…….


Screen Shot 2020-08-24 at 9.07.53 PM

मेरा  विवशताका नहरहरू

अनि प्रतीक्षाका प्रहरहरु

तिमीसँग अमर रहने रहरहरु

तैपनि बिलौनाका  दहरहरु

हामी माझका अनेकन शहरहरू

अझ, तिम्रा यादका लहरहरु

    हो! तिम्रा यादका लहरहरु !!!!


भावनाका बगरमा डुल्दाडुल्दै

प्रेमलिप्त भावहरु कोर्दाकोर्दै

मनका बहाबलाइ रोक्दारोक्दै

खोइ! किन अश्रुधारा बग्न पुगेछन ?

हो,तिम्रा कल्पनामा आँखा  रसाए !

दिनकै उज्यालोमा अनेकन सपना सजाए 

ती सपनामा फेरि रमाए

    अ, फेरि रमाए!!!


व्याख्या आउँदैन मलाई प्रेमको

न त म परिभाषा खोज्ने प्रयास मै छु !

मुटुको ढुकढुकी बनेको छौ तिमी मेरो

हरेक धड्कनमा तिम्रो अंश पाउने छौ

अनि  आँखामा पनि तिम्रै चित्र वर्णन छ

 सायद, रगतका हरेक कोशिकामा मात्र तिमी छौ

 अत माया शब्द तिमी र म मा नै परिभाषित  छ

 तिम्रो र मेरो अनन्त प्रेम-सागरको गहिराईमा  व्याप्त छ

    हो,गहिराईमा व्याप्त छ!!!

(धेरै बर्ष  पहिले  लेखेको लेख )

बुबाको मुख हेर्ने दिनको शुभकामना बुवा !

बुबाको मुख हेर्ने दिन, हिजो ! 


हरेक  रातझैँ हिजो पनि बुबाको सम्झनामा बाल्यकालको स्मृतिहरु खेलाउन  थाले ।  मन  भारी थियो, बिहानदेखि नै ! हरेकले आफ्नो सामाजिक सञ्जालमा आफ्नो बुबासँग तस्बिर एवं माया र  श्रद्धाका शब्दहरुको अलौकिक प्रस्तुति दिएका थिए तर हामी दुइको संगै  बसेर   खिचेको तस्बिर मसँग छैन । तस्बिर नभएपनि धेरै-थोरै यादहरु भने मानसपटलमा सधै चल्मलाउँछन् । सँगै बसेका पलहरु पनि कमै छन्, सायद त्यही भएर होला हरेक भावनाहरू उत्तिकै जीवित छन् ।  

कान्छो छोरा म ! हुनत सबै सन्तानहरू बुबाआमाको लागि बराबर नै हुन्छन् ।  तैपनि किन हो किन बुबाले मलाई  औधि नै माया गर्नुहुन्थ्यो भन्ने आभास हुन्थ्यो । मलाई  काँधमा राखेर पूरा गाउँ  डुल्नुहुन्थ्यो । दमको बिरामी बुवा ! तैपनि मलाई साइकलमा राखेर बजार जानुहुन्थ्यो।  रात-बिरात नभनी अँगालो हालेर अस्पताल पुर्याएको क्षणहरु अझै पनि ताजा नै छन् । मासु पकाउँदा कलेजो- कलेजो छानेर पोलेर एवं  पकाएर दिनुभएको पलहरु पनि जिवितै छन् ।  ठुलो परिवार  हाम्रो,   ३  दाजुभाइ र ६  दिदी-बहिनी ! 

गरिब नै त हैन तर पैसाको समस्या चाहिँ बेलाबेलामा झल्किन्थ्यो ! संरक्षण गर्ने  बानी थियो बुबाको- म भन्दा ठ्याक्कै उल्टो !तापनि  बोर्डिङ स्कुल गाउँमा खुले सँगै बाबाले हामीलाई गाउँको सबै भन्दा राम्रो बोर्डिङ स्कुलमा पढाउनुभयो।  धेरै पटक त म र मेरो दिदी स्कुल ‘फी’  नतिर्दा लाइनबाट बाहिरिएका थियौं! अलिअलि मन  खिन्न हुन्थ्यो ! बुबालाई घर आएर भन्दा सुनेको नसुने गर्नुहुन्थ्यो ! मेरो रोल नम्बर ४ र  दिदीको ५   थियो!  फाइनल  परीक्षा  बाहेक अन्य परीक्षामा प्रायजसो प्रथम कि त दोस्रो हुने गर्थे म ! किन त्यसो भएको भनेर बुझ्दा पैसा समयमा नतिरेर हो भन्नुहुन्थ्यो बुवा ! मेरो निधार अबिरले रातो हुने गर्थ्यो परीक्षाको नतिजा निस्केको दिन-म अति नै खुसी हुन्थे र बुबालाई स्कुलले दिएको कापी, पेन्सिल र इरेजर देखाउने गर्थे ! बुवा मख्ख  परेको  मेरो  अनुहार हेर्दै टाउको हातले सुम्सुम्याउँदै ठुलो भएपछि डाक्टर बन्नु भन्नुहुन्थ्यो । म ती पलहरु सम्झेर यो लेख्दै गर्दा पनि मुस्कुराई रहेको छु।  हामी प्राय संगै नै  हुन्थ्यौं । म र बुबा ‘चाँदे’ खोलामा  बाढिले टट काट्दै  वन देवीको मन्दिर बगाएको  हेर्न गएको  थियौं । बाढीले ‘सिसौ’का रुखहरु बगाएको देख्दा म डराउने गर्थे । बाढीले रुख बगाउनु अघि त्यस ठाउँमा  गोरुरहरूको बेचबिखन हुन्थ्यो ।म  र दिदि  शनिबार ‘भैसी’ लिएर बुबासँग भैसिलाई  खोलामा नुहाउन  लग्ने गर्थेउ । म चाहिँ नजिकैको सानो खोलामा माछा मार्न जान्थे । सन्तपुरमा रातभरि धान  चुट्दा सुतेको पनि हिजो जस्तै लाग्छ । अहिले ती पलहरू सम्झदै गर्दा कुनै पुरानो चलचित्र हेरे झैं अनुभूति हुन्छ  । 

थोरै समयको लागि थियो मेरो बाल्यकाल- बुबासँगको ! कक्षा २ मा पढ्दा म धेरै नै बिरामी भए। त्यसलगत्तै लगभग ८  बर्षको उमेरमा म काठमाडौँ आए  । त्यसपछि उपचारका निम्ति म दाइसँग भक्तपुरमा नै बस्न  थाले  । सुरुसुरुमा सहरको रमझममा आफूलाई अलिक आनन्द नै अनुभूति भएको थियो तर जब म कक्षा चार मा यही भर्ना  भय  तब मन अति नै  बेचैन हुन थाल्यो। नयाँ स्कूल , सबैको बुबाआमाले साथीहरुलाई स्कुल छोड्न र लिन आउँदा मन भक्कानिएर आउँथ्यो, घरको न्यास्रो लाग्थ्यो।  सबको याद आउँथ्यो !  ‘भक्तपुर’ मा म बस्ने घर  त निकै ठूलो थियो र सबै सुविधा सम्पन्न थियो । भौतिक  दृष्टिले  हेर्ने हो भने केही कुराको पनि कमी थिएन तर मानसिक रुपले हेर्दा म आफूले आफैलाई ‘टुहुरो’ महसुस गर्न थालेको थिएँ। आमाबुवासँगको बिछोडले मनमा डढेलो लागेको थियो । 

बाल्यकाल देखि  नै भावुक  थिए  म ! कहिलेकाहीँ भागेर घर फर्किउ जस्तो हुन्थ्यो ! धेरै छटपटाउन गर्थे म,  एक्लै !  मेरो   बुवाको जस्तो सहनशक्ति र धैर्यता सायदै हाम्रो परिवारमा अरु कसैको होला । लगभग २० वर्षअघिको पहिलो बिछोड सम्झदा अझै  पनि मेरा आँखाहरू भरिन्छन्, सायद कति रातहरु बुवा पनि मलाई सम्झिँने गर्नु हुनुहुन्थ्यो होला  ! सायद कति पलहरुमा उहाँलाई पनि मलाई भेट्न आउ जस्तो हुन्थ्यो होला ! सायद म भन्दा सयौं  गुणा बढी तड्पिनु भएको थियो होला ! धैर्य र जिम्मेवारीको प्रतिमूर्ति हुनुहुन्थ्यो मेरो बुबा, तर सन्तानलाई आफ्नो काखबाट पर भएको देख्दा कुन चाहिँ बुबाको मन   रुन्न  होला र ! म यस्तैयस्तै भावनामा डुब्छु – रात छिप्पिँदै जाँदा मन  भारी हुन्छ र आँखाहरू रसाउँछन् । २७ बर्षको उमेरमा अझै पनि म बाल्यकालका स्मृति मै रमाउँछु – म फेरि त्यो  समयमा फर्कन चाहन्छु , म फेरि तपाईंसँग हात समाई हिड्न चाहन्छु र म तपाइलाई भेटेर यी लगायत अरु थुप्रै प्रस्नहरु सोध्न चाहन्छु  !! 

 बुबाको मुख हेर्ने दिनको शुभकामना बुवा !


IlluminatiDear Friend,

With the armor of darkness , we have spent many nights under the pale orange light reflected in the yellow wall.  A little glimpse into the reality gives us a heartache, hence we have armored the escape mechanism. We have chosen to run away from reality, rather than confronting it. We still run away, every single day and every single night.

The Story of Misery sells everywhere. But, a story inwards, eventually breaks.
People ,now, may have realized what it is to get stuck into the state of lockdown. But, here we are, some of us, who are locked into our own thoughts, every single day and every single night. We live with the pride that darkness enlightens us.

Every night, we seek for existence, our existence. There are many of us, who share this journey of darkness, with same frequency of vibrations, over different parts in the world.
We build a world of our own where we seek to understand the real meaning of this existence of ours. We are with so much of anguish.

We cry with the Children of Syria, and their families. The fire of Australia burnt us too, so did the African disease and poverty. We were shattered with Notre Dame. But we were equally shattered by the cruelty of pedophile Priests. We question the cruelty based on race , sex and religion. We cry for hungry stomach of New Delhi. And we get raped along with Malati in gullies of Mumbai. The mirage…this life. The uneven world. The Cancer, the HIVs , the Leprosy, the COVID…the autoimmune phenomenon of diseases..EVERYTHING SICKENS US. But, so does cruelty against animals. So does forest encroachment and environmental assassinations. We encode our own world.We fight for justice and against inequality. Yes, we are nihilistic. Yes, nothing impresses us, We question everything, we seek for answers.We are the self proclaimed ILLUMINATI with so many delusions.

When the mental rage of outer world settle down, we go back into ourselves. We repent for the chances we didn’t take. We regret the stagnant life. We curse the so-called diety for this painful life. We cry over things we deserve, but couldn’t get it. We try to cry for everything. We believe this world doesn’t deserve our existence and we seek for eternal peace, with inactivations of the reticular formation in our brain. This brain plays the trick to make us fall asleep,every once in a while.

But, the master programmer, the subconscious, starts tormenting us- the nightmares….the struggle of self continues. We, the ILLUMINATI of Dan Brown, fight every single night… Alike the Angels and Demons.

We are, sometimes, visited by souls. We see them…Hallucinations ! Could be. I saw one yesterday too, just for a couple of seconds. I wonder why it flies just above me, every single time i see it. Why is the image in the dotted frame,prior me reaching to turn the lights on? This person/image/or whatever it is, sometimes makes me suffocate….in dream, they call it sleep paralysis. A beautiful Mind, and the hallucinations!!

Yes, We are the elite. Yes, the mental lockdown is very strong. Yes, We are the People who listen to the chirping of birds past the midnight and those barking dogs don’t irritate us. Yes, We are the anhedonic personnel. Our world is different. We no longer have a sense of belonging to this competitive world. We have our own rhythm, we never compete with anyone, not with the inner self too. We are always against the merciless assassins of the nature and yes, we are the writer. We live with our pen, diary and words.
Nothing will make a sense to those who have not shared this vibration, but we live with this exact attitude. We are insane in your sane world. Neither are you sane in ours.

We leave it to you, to ponder, as we strongly believe in differences of thoughts. We…..the ones who live with armor of darkness..Sharing our stories…In Volumes…In blogs.. Because, we live with words. Else we perish..The We, the ILLUMINATI.We, the elite. We the insane…

#DearFriend_SomeStories #2AMthoughts #ILLUMINATIs

Dr. Yagya Pd. Timalsina

“Seroflo” and “The Shah Drug Centre”


Only if I could bring  someone back, it would be you.

The final exams of Grade 4 were over, and i was all set to go to my home in Chandranigahapur, Rautahat. I was very excited to be back to my birthplace and went on to take bus from Kalanki, where i was dropped by my brother, with whom i had been staying since last 2 years. I had come to Bhaktapur due to my poor immunity to various infections. I remember being sick very often and even had missed school for complete 5 months,which let me be a dropout for a year before being admitted to Everest English School, one of the very best in Bhaktapur.

I had reached the bus station at around 5 pm and hurried back to home, which was 20 minutes walk for me,at that age. It was always a delight to be with family, whom i had been missing every single day. I was an emotional guy since my childhood days. Bhaktapur was very developed compared to Rautahat, but it could never hold my desires to be back at Rautahat, because home is where the heart is. I could feel the enigma of happiness when i had entered home.

We talked how life was in Bhaktapur, how i had topped every exams, how i had won medals for my handwriting, speaking contest, quiz contest, spelling contest, and how people used to tell me “red indian”,the side effect of medications. We talked on many things on how big house i was living it. But i didn’t talk about few things, how i missed my childhood days. I didn’t talk to them about how i missed my mother when i saw any child of my age being pampered by their mothers, and how my eyes well up with tears. I also didn’t tell them that i missed my father, whenever i saw any kid at my school being dropped by their fathers. I missed my sister whom i was at the same school, how we used to work together, from cleaning whole house,to lightening the evening diyo “Saanjha Batti” and feeding animals with the grasses we used to cut. We were always competing, me being 4th and she being 5th, as i used to show all my answer sheets during exams. I also missed my small sisters, who were very young when i left for Bhaktapur. I was 11 then,  so they were 9 and 7 years. I missed my grandfather too, who always worked hard all the time,even today.Yes, i had missed all the love and care every single moment after i was in Bhaktapur. 

The transition from poverty to middle class to being pretty well-off was all the handworks and dedications of my elder brother, who was also supported by a very kind heart Francesco. But this transition couldn’t repair the ill health of my father, who had developed COPD in his mid 40s, attributed to his past smoking habits.

I used to sleep with my father since childhood, our bed was with near window. That night, i could feel many things which i didn’t realize at that age, but make a sense today.He had difficulty to sleep,so he looked beyond window for hours, and during those days, he used to sit in what we call ‘tripod position’. With that he also woke up in-between sleep and stared beyond windows. He was coughing really hard when i fell sleep. All these make a sense now. The next morning, i asked why was  he having difficulty to fall asleep yesterday. I got to know that he had finished the inhaler 2 days back and hadn’t refilled it. I took the cover of the inhaler, and went to buy medicines.

The market was a little far, hence i wanted to go on bicycle, but our bicycle needed a repair as my father hadn’t used it for months due to his exacerbations of COPD.The famous drug centre “ Shah Drug Centre” was almost 2 kms from home.  My neighbor had the bicycle,so i went to ask for it. She denied giving me the bicycle, despite me telling her that i needed to go to buy the medicines for my father. Since that day, i hated her. In fact she was one of the educated female in the village, and was working in Agriculture development bank. How meaningless education and status she possessed! I still don’t like her.

I went alone, all the way, and  had vivid memories of my days when i was having fever 2 years back. When my fever hadn’t gone down despite cold sponging by both my mother and father, my father had carried me to the famous “Dr. Satyal”.He was a quack. I got to know about this a few years back through national daily newspaper . It was more than 4 kms from home, both ways, and him, despite being a COPD patient had carried me,alone to Satyal’s centre for medicines. Back then, Dr Satyal always used some injections to every children taken and gave a lot of medicines. I still remember how my father was consoling me with his words,and how he changed his arms while carrying me. He was very worried back then.

Despite all the medicines,i started developing rashes all my body and had severe conjunctivities, with difficulty to open eyes. I remember my father going out at night, to get some gun powder, and apply it mixed with sunflower oil. It was illegal as so-called Moist only used to carry it. My villager thought that helps all sort of rashes. But it was terrible experience,the burning sensation after the application of mixed gunpowder and  oil feels like yesterday. My illness resolved slowly, almost 12-15 days of missed school. With the memory of this illness,i could always feel how much of love he had for me. With my symptoms and gross memory, I think it was Measles,for I was born at home and was never taken to any sort of vaccinations.

I was walking the same street for the medicines 2 years later, nostalgic. I reached the centre, and asked for the  ‘SEROFLO”, and the famous cough syrup “Grilinctus Syrup”. This might surprise you that i remember this name(Grilinctus Syrup)  sharply, despite many years, because we had so many bottles of this cough syrup. I and my immediate elder sister used to hide and take syrups as it tasted sweet to us. My sister’s stuttering was thought to be due to her misusing  this cough syrups. After the medicines, his symptoms got better.

I enjoyed every single day in there but the memory of buying those medicines from  the few money given by brother, was something worthy to remember lifelong. All the memories of my childhood days before i was living in Bhaktapur used to haunt me in corners of the big building i was living in. I wanted to live in there, live with family.  But my poor health status made me live away from them for years. My physical health improved, but deep inside, i always craved to be with family, more so with father. He was simple, clear in his thoughts,kind, intelligent, and with so much love. Its been complete 9 years that he isn’t with me physically, but i can feel his presence. I can feel how i had bought him the radio just a month before his last breath and how happy he was. I remember his worry for me, and i remember it like it was yesterday.

If there was something that could be regained, i would always wish for his company. I feel for you dear father, every single day with my joys and with my sorrows. I am learning the ways of living, but how good would it be,if  you were by my side,guiding me and cherishing my success. I have preserved all my memories with you, and sometimes, in distress,alone, i let them flow with tears. It’s more clear and i feel you even more.

You come in my dreams after every while, and i sleep again wishing to continue the  same dream together. That’s the  time when we are both together.I feel those dreams so real.

I shall share our stories dear father. I shall write for us. Our stories… They shall be preserved.

Its 2:16 am, September 24,2019 dear father . And i miss you real badly……..Lets meet in dream today too.

Dr.Yagya Pd. Timalsina





Minutes, hours, days and months
Months slipped into years.
The sensation : That unpleasant sensation !
Medical term:CHRONIC PAIN!!

Slowly, the dull-aching agony progresses.
From one part of the body to the next,
Shifts the gear of misery
Into the horrible agonizing burning pain.
The Pain Scale: Ten Out Of Ten

You lay still.
Wishing for the torture to pass by.
Minutes pass into hours,
But the devil persists.
Rub it with the ice, the heat never goes.
Instead, the cold begins to hurt ever more.

It feels as if the nerves are frozen.
Yet, no amount of heat capable of melting the ice.
The summer burns and the winter freezes.
They say, “Dying nerves are crying”
This physical pain makes you cry too,
And makes you die too,every single day.

You try hard to fall asleep, finally doze off.
Just to be awaken soon.
With the feeling to chop off that part which hurts the most.
You feel pity with yourself.

Stare at the white ceiling above,
And a dark life below.

You try a lot to smile,
But the pain keeps it at the bay.
Your mental strength overcomed by physical pain,
Yet you fight hard to win it back.
A little negative energy,sometimes, asks to end it all;
Right then, a courage surges up.
A rim of hope shines.
One day, it shall all be fine.

Many might have suffered more than you do.
Yet,this is the worst pain you have gone through.
Some more days, let the steroid work through,
And let the nerve pacifiers sooth you.
Your battle shall end some day.

Kill the depression, heal the pain.
Fight for the life,yet again.

~~~~~Dr. Yagya Pd. Timalsina