GUARDIAN ANGEL

caged

Caged.
Behind the Golden Bars.
Secured and Sophisticated,
Freedom within its corners,
A decade since his last free flight,
And the nostalgia fills up his eyes.
Anxious as he flutters his wings,
Swings restlessly within the metal bars,
Desire to break free holds strong,
Calms as soon as he sees the owner,
For he had survived in his Grace.

Survival.
Envied his friends
For they could fly,
Early in the search of adventure,
New Flowers and New Forests,
New rivers and the neighbour’s nest.
Their wings had outgrown his,
And so did their experiences.
He cursed himself,
Dived into his regular pessimism.
Insecurities and inabilities,
He pecks the bars and ponders,
Am i living or just surviving?

Answered.
He came to an attention of a kind lady,
She stood in front of his cage.
Every day and every single moment,
Shared the stories of the outer world.
Showered the positive strength and hopes
Made him to believe in the inner self.
A warm friendship after ages
A caged survival but an open life,
For he seeks the opportunities now,
To sing and to cry,
To dream and to fly.

Awaited.
She finally unlocked his cage.
Ecstatic and Spell Bound,
With the final gaze of gratitude,
He opened his wings for the exotic flight.
Smiling, she stayed back,
For he had to learn to fly again,
Into the wilderness of the newer world.
Well,the promise was kept.
One that was made with the devine soul,
To set him free out of his miseries,
And always remain with him
FOR SHE WAS HIS “GUARDIAN ANGEL’.

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A Promise..

love

All her little Smiles
And her Jokes,
Also her Gestures.
He loved her,
Deep, and pure.
Still today,
Like every other days in those 10 years,
He loves her,
Deeper,and Stronger.
He stands firmly with her,
A promise that he keeps to himself.
No matter what tomorrow beholds,
He will always hold her hands,
Through thick and thin,and Ever.

He is an extrovert.
He shares his love.
His eyes can see the depth of her eyes,
He can feel the pain she goes through.
And yes that hurts,
Hurts badly to know that sth is hurting her,
But he remains calm,
Just to make sure that he is poise and warm.
Deep down, he dies.
Sinks into agony for every agonizing moment she suffers,
Only to know that he is of no help,
This kills him even more.
He is also a fighter, like her.
His love will always be a savior,
For he had loved none like her.

Fingers crossed,
For he has remained hours in solitude,
He has something to ask tonight.
Hands to hands,
Like a fairytale,
He shares all his beautiful moments with her.
Of the past and the present.
Those beautiful eyes and the beautiful soul,
His solemnity and her company
His success and her joy,
Her tears and his pain.
Then, a promise he asks for,
Be with him as long as he loves her,
For he will fight for her until his last breathe
Or say, he will end his with hers.
For he will love her down the earth till heaven.

 

 

THE END

medical-marijuana-depression

Midnight
Struggles, Gasps and Struggles Again.
Shouts,Even louder this time,
His voice remains to be unheard.
The battle continues.
Then, the eyes become wide open
The heart pounds harder
He sweats and breathes harder
Yet, another Nightmare.

Doomed
Restless, Pale and Pessimistic
Pins and Needles all over the body.
Clouds of terror encircling the days.
Away, Apart and Alone.
Engulfed with the streams of negativism
Caged with hopelessness and helplessness
Finds none of his worth anymore
Yet, another Anhedonia.

Nostalgic
Smart, Intelligent And Ebullient
A warrior of Light and Hope
A free bird.
Flying high with Ambitions and expectations
Soon enough to be locked In his mental Cage.
Broken completely as she left.
Still Awaits her at the dead end.
Yet, another Delusion.

Hallucinations
Saw her,talked to her and felt her.
Touched her tenderly as he gulped his sixth shot of Vodka
She too kissed him after his third tab of LSD.
Five years of deep love,
A year of his company with Drugs, Alcohol and Depression.
Her soft voice said “JUMP”
He never denied her,neither before; nor today.
Yet, another SUICIDE

 

Dr. Yagya Pd. Timalsina

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHE WAS BORN TO SUFFER…………AND THE SUFFERING CONTINUE

I AM NOT A WRITER, BUT I CAN’T TURN DEAF EARS TO THE STORIES THAT HAPPEN TO CROSS ACROSS MY EARS AND THIS STORY THAT I AM GOING TO SHARE IS A STORY THAT HAD TO BE BORN SOMEDAYS. CERTAINLY,LIFE ISN’T A BED OF ROSES, BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHOSE LIVING PERHAPS HAS NEVER SEEN A LEAFLET OF ROSE.SO, LET ME SHARE WHAT LIFE BRINGS UP IN THE FATE OF A 31 YEARS OLD FEMALE OF NEPAL.

BORN IN THE PLAIN OF THE TERAI REGION OF NEPAL IN THE LOW-MIDDLE CLASS FAMILY, SHE WAS THE THIRD CHILD AMONG HER 8 SIBLINGS. UNLIKE HER PARENTS WHO DIDN’T HAPPEN TO KNOW HOW SCHOOLING AND EDUCATION WAS, SHE WAS VERY LUCKY TO ATTEND A SCHOOL UNTIL GRADE 8. BUT THEN, SHE WAS A GIRL, AND IN THE PLAINS OF NEPAL, IT WAS HER AGE OF MARRIAGE, AS SHE HAD TURNED 16 ALREADY. NEPAL IS KNOWN FOR CHILDHOOD MARRIAGE AND SO IS IT FAMOUS FOR ARRANGED MARRIAGE. LIKEWISE, SHE HAD A PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE WITH A BOY OF AGE 18 WHO HAD ALMOST THE SAME LEVEL OF EDUCATION AS SHE HAD.THIS BOY WITH WHOM SHE HAD TO SPEND ALL HER LIFE, WAS A TAXI DRIVER WHO HAPPENED TO LIKE HER AND THEIR PARENTS FIXED MARRIAGE OF BOTH OF THEM. ‘WAS SHE HAPPY, WHAT WERE HER WISHES, WAS SHE PREPARED? “ ALL THESE QUESTIONS STILL HAUNT HER AS SHE HADN’T SEEN THE GUY BEFORE MARRIAGE.YES MARRIAGE LIKE THAT STILL HAPPENS IN NEPAL. BUT SHE NEVER KNE W IT WOULD MAKE HER SUFFER LIKE SHE HAD SUFFERED IN HER CHILDHOOD DAYS.

HER CHILDHOOD DAYS…SHE WAS PAMPERED WHEN SHE WAS VERY YOUNG. SHE WAS DADDY’S FAVOURITE. BUT WITH AGE, AND WITH INCREASING POVERTY, AND WITH THE BIRTH OF NEW FAMILY MEMBERS, THINGS STARTED TAKING A TWIST. DASHAIN,THE BIGGEST FESTIVAL OF NEPAL, IT WAS THOSE FESTIVALS WHERE SHE HAD THE CHANCE OF KNOWING WHAT MEAT WAS. IT WAS THOSE ALTERNATE YEARS, WHEN SHE WOULD BE GIFTED A NEW PAIR OF SCHOOL DRESS,FOR THERE WAS NO MONEY TO BUY OTHER CLOTHES AND THIS WOULD SERVE DUAL PURPOSE, A NEW CLOTH AND SCHOOL UNIFORM. RARELY VISITED OUT OF THE PLACE, SHE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT OUTER WORLD WAS. MISTAKES OF BEING AWAY FROM HOME TO MARKET, AND HAVING BUFFALO MEAT ( HER FRIEND USED TO GIVE IT FOR FREE) MEANT SHOWERS OF STICKS FROM HER DADDY. MAY BE SHE HAD DREAMS LIKE THOSE OF OTHER CHILDREN, TO PLAY WITH DOLLS, TO ROAM WITH FRIENDS TO NEW PLACES, TO EAT GOOD FOODS, TO HAVE NEW DRESSES, TO STUDY NEW BOOKS, TO BATH WITH SHAMPOOS INSTEAD OF CLAYS,TO WATCH TELEVISION… BUT SHE HAD NO AIMS IN LIFE. OR IS IT, WHEN SHE HAD TIME FOR VISION ,SHE WAS TO BE MARRIED WITH UNKNOWN GUY.
BUT SHE HAS A VISION NOW…..
TO TURN THIS LIFE OF HELL INTO SOMETHING WORTH LIVING.

SHE IS NOW MARRIED FOR 15 YEARS. SHE HAS A DAUGHTER AGED 14 AND A SON AGED 12. HER DAUGHTER STUDIES IN GRADE 6 AND HER DAUGHTER IN GRADE 7. DURING HER INITIAL DAYS OF MARRIAGE, SHE HAD BETTER LIFE, A GOOD LOVING HUSBAND AND A GOOD FAMILY. BUT THINGS STARTED FALLING APART WHEN HER HUSBAND STARTED DRINKING. THEY STARTED TO BE BANKRUPT AND HER INLAWS DISOWNED THEM. WITH THOSE TODDLERS IN LAP, SHE HAD TO LOOK FOR JOBS IN THE STREETS OF KATMANDU IN ORDER TO FEED THEM. STARTED FROM SELLING CORN IN THE STREETS TO BITTEN RICE IN ROADS, SHE CURRENTLY HAS A VERY SMALL GROCERY. HER HUSBAND TORMENTS HER DAILY IN THE INFLUENCE OF ALCOHOL, FROM VERBAL ABUSE TO PHYSICAL ASSAULT. SHE HAS NOONE TO CALL GTO HELP FOR IN THE MIDDLE OF NIGHT. THE HOUSE OWNER WHERE THEY LIVE IN RENT COMES TO REQUE OFTEN. FROM BROKEN LIMBS TO MULTIPLE BRUISES, HER ARRANGED MARRIAGE HAS TURNED INTO A CURSE. ALL THE BURDEN OF FAMILY, FROM SCHOOL FEES TO FEEDING OF WHOLE FAMILY, SHE IS THE ONE TO LOOK FOR. SHE HAS NEUROPATHIC PAIN IN HER RIGHT LEG, AND HAD SUFFERED FROM CONVERSION DISORDER (MENTAL DISEASE). CURRENTLY SHE IS LIVING IN RENTED HOUSE AND POSSESS NOTHING AS PROPERTY EXCEPT FOR THOSE CHILDREN. SHE DREAMS TO EDUCATE THEM, BUT IT HAS BEEN YEARS OF CHANGING SCHOOL DUE TO INABILITY TO PAY SCHOOL FEE. SHE THINKS SHE MAY HAVE TO DROP THEM OFF SCHOOL COMING YEAR, AS SHE ALREADY HAS LOANS DUE TO DIFFICULTIES IN FEEDING FAMILY. BUT SHE WISHES HER CHILDREN BE EDUCATED AND HEAL HER CHRONIC WOUND.
AS SHE SAYS HER STORIES OF LIFE, MY EYES WELL UP. THERE ARE MANY BITS OF HER STORY.MANY MORE EVENTS…MANY MORE SUFFERINGS. THIS SEEMS TO BE LITTLE PAINFUL BUT TO LIVE A LIFE WORTH A HELL IS A REAL PAIN. I WISH HER CHILDREN STUDY, I WISH HER SUFFERINGS DIMINISH, ANDIF POSSIBLE GO AWAY.
BUT NOT ALL WISHES ARE GRANTED.

 

HER SUFFERINGS STILL CONTINUE……MORE EVERYDAY….

DR YAGYA PD TIMALSINA
(TIMALSINAYAGYA@GMAIL.COM)
KATHMANDU, NEPAL

Nepal

greater-nepal-map-to-prince-harry-by-1

 

Let me turn to history
The things of mystery.
A country, named Nepal, was founded
With the continuous struggle that surrounded
Had Prithvi Narayan Shah not united
We would have lost our identity.
Of course, it would have raped our dignity.

Since 18th to 21st century,
Though had we progressed in some advisories
Were we there in Sikkim, and Tista
Here we are in Mechi to Mahakali.

New Nepal was formed in 11th Baishak with 19 days of struggle
And lost many warriors to overthrow the Kingship
All had bright hopes of success and prosperity
All were promised to dedication and sincerity.
But, all these turned out to be fake and dirty.

Now I have come to the present
Where Nepal has become a stinking scent.
NEPAL;
A country in dark, where only lectures spark
A country in fight , where people have no fundamental right.
A country as beggar, begging selfishly with every country ever and ever
A country as a unguided ship, lost all its good qualities as hospitality and friendship,
All these things have become our unique identities.

Finally,
I don’t have any comments
Nor do I pose any compliments
Only I dare for a suggestion,
Try to remove all these humiliating identities out of nation.

Yagya Prasad Timalsina
Grade:Ten

 

P.S. an article i found when i sneaked back to my email written 7 years back!!!!!  a collection worth publishing!!

a memoir to my article !!

Buddha’s life

YOU DON’T GET BURNT ALONG WITH YOUR FERRARI IN YOUR FUNERAL.SO,DONATE!

20151009_14320520151011_123415IMG_20150502_14533420151009_13565920150714_14494720151009_135659IMG_20150501_09015920150714_153747IMG_20150503_150004IMG_20150503_144908IMG_20150501_131907IMG_20150502_151001IMG_20150503_101038IMG_20150503_16011320151021_185827IMG_20150502_141712IMG_20150502_151653Ever felt like helping those who need it right away? Yes, many of us feel like helping people at need. But, how many of us move forward and help by knocking off the inner dilemma of mind. This avoidable dilemma consists from shyness to move forward, thoughts which consists of what others think, or what the needy might think ,the confusions of, if my help really matters and many other feelings that swells up due to chemical changes in our body. I term this as ‘fear’ response because, you have not been offering help frequently, an insecurity to the normal pattern of your life events and a deviation from this normal rhythm would make your body to find this situation as an awkward moment.
Then, what does it take to step forward and help as much as you can ?
A simple realization of UNIVERSAL TRUTH. The only truth with which we are born. The truth of DEATH. Your fear, your insecurities and everything else falls off when you realize that you are only a few kilograms of dust in this universe. All that matters is your effort to make this world better before you turn into ashes. All it takes is this intuition within us and keep moving to make this place a better place.
This universal truth makes me step everyday and act kicking off this fear response. The incidence of Earthquake of 7.8R on April,2015 killing tens of thousands, the black year, also did boost my morale to help people. Had I been dead in that instance(though was a near one), I wouldn’t have been able to write this off or help hundreds of people in the ways I could all these months after April,2015. It takes courage to lead and take challenges to fulfill your goal. With the help of kind hearted people around, I could personally make a difference in those shattered houses and broken hearts, providing financial helps, medical help and psychological support integrating all my lessons I had gone through all these 21 years of my life.
I have been helped in this effort by many and the most notable would be the kind soul who voluntarily assisted my effort in child psychological program after the trauma set up by earthquake by providing financial and material help. The child project was done almost in 7 phases, along with efforts from my friends of Kathmandu Medical College and Teaching Hospital. You should always make your best effort so that the help you provide is accessible only to those in needs. Else , it simply is a fraud. Hence, take no chances to make the best survey you can to find the needy, like I personally conducted surveys in those rumbled villages in Earthquake 2015.
BUT , this is not the end to the troubles nature forced us Nepalese to suffer with. This winter has been very harsh. With millions below poverty line and lost homes, many have shivered to deaths recently and many are in verge to lose their life due to lack of materials to ward off cold. To add the misery, the political instability causing economic blockade to Nepal and the incompetence of Nepalese government to provide relief materials to the victims, have forced many innocent helpless families to suffer every single day with cold. But we are still surviving. We are with hopes. The almighty power has blessed us and we are capable to help those in need.
So, isn’t it time to help all those good hearts who have been helping to provide food, clothes or shelter to the helpless victims of Earthquake? Yes, it’s high time we do it. And as my favorite author, Robin Sharma, says, “lead without title” let us lead to make this world a warm world by donating all we can for those who are less blessed than we are. Let us make every small effort to help. Every single penny counts , every single clothes counts and every single feelings to help and courage to act counts.
NORMA LAYTON, who has a pure kind spirit and knows that she won’t be carrying anything to her deathbed has been helping Nepalese Children in supplying school supplies. She has made it on her personal efforts to much but supports from friends was appreciable. She is currently heading to collect funds for clothing for Earthquake victims and help Nepalese be warm. I am much happier to help her in her efforts and would do so in every possible way to make a positive difference in the lives I would touch in days to come. I am not a member to any social organizations, though was asked by a couple and promised good position, after my works in Earthquake. What I always believed is that, you don’t need a title to be a leader. Work the best from the position and place you are and embrace the perfect bliss you feel when you do what your heart has always wanted to do.

Make this your time. Make small efforts every single day. Help to heal every single would that appears to your sight. There is always something you can do. Hence kick off that fear response and join in the efforts of those who lead to help others. Don’t hesitate. You won’t take your car/bank-balance/bungalow with you in your deathbed. You will only take the graces and blessings you embraced during your survival. Your only wealth is the difference you made in the positive sense when you were breathing, the good vibes that you sent and the good works you did selflessly.

So, make a difference in the lives of earthquake victims and support NORMA LAYTON by donating in this link :IMG_20150502_15054720151009_131608

https://www.gofundme.com/booksfornepal